Saturday, August 2, 2008

a pattern is in place

"When our soul mind chooses health over disease, healing will happen within our soul and we will crack our cosmic shell." This is a quote from page 51 of kathy Oddenino's book Healing Ourself. Growing Beyond the true cause of Disease. I have thought about this and so with this quote in my head i went for a walk. I had not gone far when i "saw" the pattern of growth and change so clearly.

Kathy has used the analogy in many of her seminars of us being like a chicken hatching itself out of its shell and likened the shell to our ego shell or cosmic egg or cosmic shell. What ever phrase one chooses, it all comes back to the same thing. We have to peck our way out of our ego shell that is made up of eons of accumulate fear beliefs. We support our growth and change through feeding our mind with thoughtful "foods" such as spiritual philosophy to help us look at ourself and learn who we truly are (and this very process makes the ego very nervous!). We support this process through clean air, food and water.

Look at the pattern of the chicken. It is sustained by the fluids of the egg for its growth and change and then when the chicken is old enough and stronge enough, it can peck its way out of its own shell and hatch itself. The tadpole also consumes its own tail to support its growth and change to become a frog. The pattern is in place.

As humans we have to accept personal responsibility to choose to change and grow and support this by choosing quality and quantity of variety of foods, (and mineral rich water and clean air) in our desire (conscious choice) for health of mind, emotions and physical body.

It is such fun to make these connections and see these patterns emerging. The walk was all the more enjoyable to feel not only the movement of my physical body but the movement of my mental and emotional body. This is truly the value of studying spiritual philosophy.

Monday, June 30, 2008

memories as evolution

I woke up thinking about memories and how they define life. I “saw” colours as the energy of my life, and not just from this lifetime but all lifetimes. It was not unlike a kaleidoscope where the colours are already set and each small turn changes the pattern and colour combination and presents an entirely new picture of the energy of me. This is what each lifetime does. A fractal of each lifetime is to take each experience in this present lifetime as a miniscule turn of the kaleidoscope’s tube as symbolic of a lesson learned. With each lesson learned I move myself forward and the pattern of colours change as my energy expands with learning. This was so clear to me this morning and when I sit here to put physical words to translate energy, the words feel clumsy and confining in a way. But it is in the writing down that keeps me grounded by making my thoughts physical so really I am taking the energy of memory and making it physical by writing. It is my perception that makes the point of reference for my energy and my perception is infused with experiences of lessons learned….therefore it is my relationship to my memories that I come to my understanding of life ….meaning that my understanding is through my senses and then I can have a relationship with my memories.

What I am saying here is that my memories define me….(define all of us… and therein lies our individuality). I am the sum of my memories as energy. It is all the experiences I have had throughout “lifetimes” that offer me a tremendous depth of knowledge (memory) and I think of this as having all the wisdom of the universe available to me.

All I have to do is know who I am (as energy and matter) and to do this I have to live personal responsibility to examine self, my creations (experiences) and clear out/away all negative thinking so I can “know thyself” and open my mind to all memories to live the behaviour of all the ethical values. This is the value of studying Spiritual Philosophy (http://www.kathyoddenino.com/) in learning that I am eternal as energy and as I open my mind I feel the balancing effect of the loving emotions coming into play and memories begin to come in and relationships are made. It is the most comforting learning I have ever experienced. When I say “all I have to do is know who I am…” it sounds a bit glib but it is the most exciting mind traveling I have ever done and it is evolution because the change occurs in how I am thinking. This changes everything!

I create memories by physical experiences and I stimulate them through my senses. I have gone back through this life and looked at various experiences I created and have asked myself why. In asking “why” my mind opens and in my growing understanding of who I am my perceptions have changed. What was once a drama is now valued for what I learned from it. This is how the analogy of the kaleidoscope works for me. I have learned and therefore changed my perception through understanding. This shift in thinking changes my internal and external energy field. It is the movement of my mind that changes my energy. This is the changing colours of the kaleidoscope of the energy of my mind.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Neural depolarization helped to heal my nerves

Earlier this morning Ii was sharing a quiet moment and cup of coffee with a friend and she made a comment about toes wiggling looked amusing or funny. This simple comment stirred me to remember when I could not open my toes or wiggle them without manual manipulation. I recall looking down at my feet years ago and seeing the muscle wastage and the limpness of digits and thinking they looked like they had been bound for years.

I found this speech i had given years ago now and thought i would air it again. I have written this story many times over the years. I continue to have NDP and am always amazed at the sensations i feel within my energy (nervous system). My gratitude is deep for the power of this therapy and what it has offered me and for what it has offered others.


My story:

Background: (briefly)
I want to tell a little story…a story of healing.
I was 24 years old and traveling through Europe. I had arranged a teaching job in Africa and as such, had to have a cholera injection. The cholera serum was contaminated and a virus began to wreck havoc in my right kidney and nervous system…particularly the peripheral nerves. My first indication that something was amiss was coming through the gym and jumping to touch the rings that were hanging down. My head sent the signal and I felt my body went through the motions but my feet did not leave the floor. I got such a shock, that I tried again and it was obvious the message was not being received by my legs. This began a round of doctors and tests. I had manipulation under anesthetic to no avail, other than to feel sore. I had 8 myliograms in 2 months, which showed no obvious obstruction in the spine. All the time my limbs are getting weaker and I am beginning to lose a lot of weight. It was not long before the numbness began and then the tremors began to become noticeable. Feeding myself was a challenge, as I could not hold a cup in one hand. It became obvious that I could not continue to work.

It was about this time that my mother sensed something amiss with me and said she was flying over from new Zealand to Johannesburg…in south Africa. There was a flurry of writing as I tried to prepare her for my skinny self…and a brief update on what was going on with me. I collected my mother from Jan Smutts airport and from there I went straight into hospital.
It was a teaching hospital in Jo’burg (RSA) where I underwent more tests. There were a lot of suggestions as to what was wrong with me….a lot of labels were bandied about and I was not enthralled with any of them. It was obvious that the myelin sheath was disintegrating. This is what surrounds the nerve. so I ‘settled’ for a label of peripheral neuritis….rather than other more ominous diagnoses. I was told that I might have a couple of years before I would require a wheelchair. I was given a high dose of cortisone.

That was my life 26 years ago.

Over the intervening years I have tried a lot of ‘therapies’ from western medicine, I have been pumped full of cortisone, done physical therapy. I have experienced eastern medicine and I have swallowed potions made eye or nwut and chicken lips looks appetizing. I have tried acupuncture. I have gone through a lot of body work and energy therapies and massage. It was suggested that I sit under and orange blanket and say om.

I have always been conscious of the value of nutrition so that required minor tweaking. I have done visualization and meditation. There is not much I have not tried from mainstream western medical to eastern medical to alternative therapies over the past twenty years.

Enter Kathy Oddenino and the neural depolarization therapy. Let me explain how this has changed my life step by step if I can.

These past four years are the first time in 25 years that I have been able to feel my legs while shaving them. It is the first time I have tried on shoes and been able to feel the fit correctly. It is the first time I have been able to run with confidence that my legs would not give out from under me. It is the first time in a quarter of a century that I have been able to walk bare-footed on a beach and actually feel the texture of the sand move under my feet. It is the first time I have been able to open my toes and wiggle them. This is the power of neural depolarization.

Kathy began to work on my nerves and I could feel the heat and the vibration and the movement of energy going through me. I could hear the snap, and often times feel like a slippery movement occurred as a nerve depolarized and then the surging warmth going through what felt like, frozen nerves. As Kathy began to work on my sciatic nerve I felt nothing initially. Then it began; the pain. A spinning pain. It felt like I was having a root canal done in my leg. My nerve was unwinding.I was in much discomfort over then next few weeks. But…The pain delighted me as I then had confirmation that the nerve was alive…and I was able to feel. It took a month of consistent work to fully depolarize the nervous system and to be able to shave and feel exactly where the razor was on my leg. This was excitement indeed! I have no tremors. I have feeling in my legs and sense the myelin sheath has regenerated. This makes sense as Kathy is using her electromagnetic energy as jumper cables to my nervous system to stimulate growth.

I have used nutrition and knowledge as part of my health rĂ©gime and the neural depolarization has been the most incredible gift I could have been given….exposed to. The power of this technique is beyond my ability to articulate more than I have done. I am living the healing.
There is not much I have not tried from mainstream western medical to eastern medical to alternative therapies over the past twenty years. The gentle power of neural depolarization work has done more for me than anything else I have been able to find anywhere in the world.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

love = sharing

Love = sharing. I have been thinking about this in relationship to the series of classes I have just done. I love the material, love people; love learning and so to teach becomes an easy and natural “next step” to share my knowledge and love.

A lot of my blogs are written for clients and have been inspired by their questions and this is one of them .

I have been thinking more on this sharing of love and love and sharing. I spent a delightful impromptu evening with my friends on Sunday and could feel the energy of all mingling and expanding and supporting as we interacted and shared our thoughts and “aha’s” with each other. The comfort and ease within us and with sharing same energy with others …from close friend to strangers…was evident throughout the evening. This recognition of our respective comfort in our own skin is really only possible when we know ourself and live from the energy of love and freely communicate. When we are living from the mindset of loving emotions we want – and are open – to sharing this energy freely and without filters. It translates to a love of life. I feel so privileged to know these people and have them as my friends. My life is all the richer because of them.

The antithesis of this open living of the spiritual ethical values is to refuse to share thoughts, dreams, ideas, concepts, the up and downs of life and learning. All of which is really about refusing to open our mind. To not use our thinking mind is to deny our spirit. We have to use our thinking mind to get to the loving emotions and the spirit senses to become a spirit consciousness. This is the pattern of the mind. There are no short cuts.

We can be socially active and still be living in isolation by not sharing ourselves openly though communication with the energy of love and truth. Instead we hold back our thoughts and emotions because of our judgement – of self - reflected externally and this negative energy is then thrust upon others. This energy is abusive on all levels. Oftentimes those we consider nearest and dearest to us will get the brunt of this controlling energy field. This truly is a person isolated from spirit. I look back to my early years and see this “protective” pattern of living because I did not want to be hurt which is so amusing because only the ego fears being hurt. This is how sneaky the ego fear beliefs are. This external reflection is really just the ego doing its best to preserve itself in all its negative delusional “glory” by not opening the mind to change and to grow. So we control and judge to maintain the ego shell around us. This is how we isolate and separate from the internal energy of the love of spirit and from others, which leaves us very uncomfortable in our skin an unable to truly know ourself.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

a walk through my garden and my mind

I have been out and about walking and puttering around in my garden. My mind has wandered and has been a wonderful companion. Here is a stream of consciousness that I will share with you.

We practice self-alienation through our negative thinking based on our fear belief structure. We then reflect this distorted energy externally and interpret it as judgment, rejection and abandonment by whatever or whomever our fertile ego mind can drum up to blame. When our lack of thinking is the norm and we are really just living from a reactive energy. This energy field is familiar, and what is familiar and known to us is fear. Fear = separation/self alienation and this fosters a very negative and chaotic mind and energy field. This very same energy feeds in on itself and the alienation from our truth and love intensifies; the more “lost” we feel and the more controlling of self and others we become. This is living in chaos and separated from divine energy. It is practicing self destruction and abuse.

While in my garden I was examining the flowers and I recognized myself in them. I mean that all of life follows a pattern…the same pattern of birth-life-death-birth-life etc. To judge myself for something done or said is to deny who I am as a soul and spirit. It is this judgement that is the self-alienating process and it becomes stultifying to growth and change. I see my plants coming up and I am excited at each new change that happens – that I get to observe. The formation of a bud is beautiful yet it “loses” it beauty to change and growth as it becomes a full bloom. The full flower that offers my senses such delight only lives because the bud continued to change and grow and the change continues its full and perennial cycle.

My garden continues to teach me and like the fluid organic nature of the plants, no part is separate. Life is about growth and change. The plant grows flowers by letting go of the bud. The flower becomes its own expression and expansion of the young bud. For me to focus only upon the bud of a rose, for example, I totally miss the entire beauty of the life cycle. This could be analogous to trying to hold onto youth and judging age as something abhorrent and to be avoided at all cost. Perhaps this is the fear of death? It is the fear of change. It does not really matter because it is still fear, control, negative energy and denial of spirit. This is refusing to change and grow and experience life in full. The more I am willing to live the spiritual patterns of the ethical values, the more comfort I find within me and the more exciting life becomes. This is our perennial movement as our cycle of Being.

acid/alkaline ...some morning thoughts

While in the shower I was thinking about acid/alkaline of the water from my well and how I note a difference after heavy rain has fallen. From this point my mind went on to think about Earth and how it is stressed from all the chemicals we have dumped into it and this makes it more acid…I see how the wild fire help to alkalize the soil through the ash and the cracking open of rock to release/break down and mineralize the soil...there is a theory that the ice age was a way of alkalizing the Earth by pulverizing the rocks and leaving huge mineral deposits. Volcanic activity has a similar effect. Excess rain helps to cleanse the soil by diluting the man-made added chemicals. Earth tries to rebalance/alkalize itself every which way it can. Our body is the same pattern as Earth. It tries to keep an alkaline balance internally by drawing minerals from organs, tissues and bones. I think back to when my mother died and the emotional shock I experienced was stressing my entire system/s thereby making me very acidic. The innate intelligence of the body to maintain its internal integrity drew from bone for calcium to help buffer the acidic state of my cells. As a result, I broke a tooth without major physical trauma being exerted. This is just a snippet of the fractal pattern that we live from. When we separate ourselves from clean air, clean water, clean food we separate ourselves from our health and our home within our physical matter (body) and from our home on Earth.

Look at the air we are breathing. It has decreased in volume of oxygen over the past 60 years. Why? Acidity! We have expelled a lot of toxic gases into the air and produced acid rain as a side effect. This acidity of the rain has impacted vegetation. I have hiked a lot of the trails on the Blue Ridge Parkway in Virginia and had noticed some of the trees looked like they were dying, particularly the dogwoods. I have since found out that they are being slowly poisoned by acid rain. This very same rain is soaking into the water table from which we draw our drinking water. Our food is grown in the same conditions we are living under. It is no wonder our state of health is rapidity declining! We have acidity every which way from breathing, eating and drinking from chemically unbalanced sources. This can only produce an acidic (read inflamed) , unbalanced body.

It is our personal responsibility to be conscious of our chemical design and our interdependency on the Universe, Earth and Nature. We begin to heal by alkalizing our cellular body through clean air/deep breathing (use plants to help cleanse surrounding air), clean mineral water from glass bottles, and bio-organically grown foods that have not been genetically engineered. The fourth part to all this is to feed our mind with thought provoking material. Our thinking mind is our functional spirit so to not use it is to deny our indwelling spirit. To not use our thinking mind becomes yet another pattern of separation.